Balance
She was most eloquent in her praise for her Master as any good slave should be. She spoke of all of his strengths and attributes in the usual manner. She did however have one query of me. She wanted to know how she could convince her Master to lighten up a bit on the dominant role. Now this is a subject I have heard discussed among submissives and slaves quite often. Unfortunately most of the time when it is discussed, it is behind the dominant’s back and the manner is one of ridicule and derision. Slaves and submissives have often been heard to say of those who take the dominant role a bit too seriously, “I am Master. Hear me roar.” Then they break into laughter.
First, let me state that the proper mastery and dominance of a slave or submissive is very serious business. That being said, there are limits like there are with everything else. I suggest that a wise Master or Dominant knows not to take themselves too seriously. I am fully aware of the incredible rush that comes with the feel of the leather in your hand. I know the mind boggling effect of seeing, hearing, and feeling your beloved submit to you in the most intense manner. I will agree that few things boost the Master’s ego like the sweet words used to express slave’s love. Yes, having a personal slave attending to one’s needs and desires can be heaven on earth. Despite all of this at least temporarily overwhelming evidence to the contrary, masters and dominants truly are NOT the centre of the known universe.
When one first enters this lifestyle, it is easy to get the impression that a “true” Master or a “true” Dominant spends every waking minute of the day as such. Some of the people one first meets at play parties give the impression that they live their entire lives as Masters and Dominants. Some places on the Internet foster the same impression. There are videos and even books that present the same image. There is image then there is reality.
Most of the people I have come across in this lifestyle of whatever persuasion lead full featured, 360 degree lives. That means they have careers, families, hobbies, political affiliations, creative abilities, passions, ambitions, and pleasures that have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. For these people, BDSM is but a part (sometimes a small part) of who they are.
Most of the actual Masters and Dominants I know lead perfectly normal lives. Many of them take out the garbage like any other guy. They goof up every now and then like everyone else. They have the same degree of successes and failures as everyone else. They have to deal with the same car repairs. Some wash the dishes. Some change the diapers. They have to pay the same bills. Some even earn less than their partners. They argue the same politics. The BIG difference is they keep everything in balance. They know not to take themselves too seriously. Yes, they can even laugh at themselves when they blow it even within the lifestyle. Yes, most of them have blown it at least once. More than a few are even the first to laugh at themselves.
A person that shows a particular flair or talent at a play party is just that and nothing more. Although a talent is something to be respected, remember it is singular observation not to be projected into a concept of the entire person. Keep things in perspective. One person’s talent does not have to be another person’s obsession. Play party talents have a very limited value outside of the play party. Have you ever seen a job description that included the sentence, “Applicant must be skilled in the use of floggers”? How about, “Only applicants with experience in caning will be considered”?
That same guy who looks so dashing in his leather outfit who has the stunning slave may have started his day getting reamed out by his boss for the third stupid mistake he had made that week. That fellow who can twirl dual floggers in perfect rhythm to the music against the backsides of a slave while whistling and dancing about may have been the same guy who embarrassed himself at work by spilling coffee in his crotch. The guy that has a stable of drop-dead gorgeous submissives dying to be with him may have a $10.00 an hour daytime McJob and live in a one-room basement suite. The guy that has all the submissives lining up to try his latest new toy may be the same one that leaves later that night alone.
The key thing to remember in all of this is strive to do the one thing you will always be the best at, be yourself. If you do that as well as you can, it won’t matter in the eyes of your slave or submissive what anyone else does. Remember, always remember, the title of Master can only be truly bestowed by your slave or submissive. The title can only be given, not demanded. Your total focus is to make sure your slave or submissive considers you worthy of the title.
In closing, I strongly urge any Dominant or Master to add one recording to their collection. It is a very old song by the late Otis Redding. I suggest taking the words to heart. The song is, “Try a Little Tenderness.”