Domlander

On Vancouver Island there is a vibrant and rapidly growing kink group called Sagacity. I’ve been to kink events both large and small, but I had noticed on the web page and on the mailing list that many events are theme related, something that I’ve seen only occasionally at other events or venues and since I’m always looking for something that is different I decided I’d take a trip over.

The theme party tonight was titled Domlander, a competition that is loosely based upon the movie Zoolander. It would have been helpful had I seen the movie, though certainly not necessary. This was all about fluff, a ‘look’, gratuitous self aggrandizement. The event was held at a hotel, which is very convenient for those that have too much fun, too much to drink, have met their Mr. or Ms. want-you-right-now, or want an evening away from the kids at home.

I had exactly no idea what to expect and wondered how this would work. The door people had their act together, and introduced themselves, and assure me that I’ll meet Ladyfish and Fisherman at some point. I go inside, choose a seat that gives me a great view while leaving me room for a fast exit if this is just a hare-brained event.

There was a buzz in the room - nervous energy, or excitement (but isn’t that much the same thing, eh?) There is a runway that ends in front of a judges table with a few judges talking to each other and people sitting behind them. After a delay Ladyfish moved to the podium and began talking, there was an introduction of judges and eventually the music began. The first act is a drag queen, full of him/herself (I’m unsure of what is correct to call a drag queen – then again I don’t do ‘correct’ so very often). The music was loud and there was a lot of strutting and posturing but if there is a point to this I miss it, until it dawns on me that the point is that there is no point at all. Several other ‘competitors’ who are being judged follow this act. The two highlights are a woman in red - she's hot and she knows it and doesn't care that we know it too (and how hot is that!). She's either a professional dancer or has taken lots of lessons. The last act is a man dressed as a cowboy, carrying one of those play horse stick things that you straddled as a kid and rode around inside the house, he does a little dance number with his horse and a woman. The crowd clearly knows the couple, and judging by the audience reaction, the hot chick and the cowboy should win and they do. I have no idea what they win - something wondrous I'm sure!! I hear later that the cowboy is quite the introvert – could have fooled me.

The music in the competition sucked - at least at times. Some poor woman was on stage with her ‘bear’, and her music cut out a couple of times causing her to have to re-start a few times. A lesser person might have given up and run off the stage in tears. I'd suggest that if you are competing in anything have your music down cold, and make sure your recording actually works. If you are depending upon another person to make sure your music plays, I’d be damn sure to have someone at the dial that - if they fucked up – I could and would beat senseless afterwards. I couldn't see the person at the dial, and for all I know the lady did beat he/she senseless.

The event is one of the most unique I’ve been to – and I must confess that I loved it as it’s a rare day when BDSM is lighthearted. I’ve learned as I’ve grown in the lifestyle that you can be a ‘serious’ (oh, we'll debate that word at some time) player and still have a laugh, have fun and even make fun of kink.

The competition ends, the crowd is asked to clear out and I headed to the bar for a beer. I wander a bit and am approached by people who introduce themselves and once they realize I’m solo they extend further greetings to hang out with them. A nice touch but I want to circulate and I do. In the course of the evening I meet Ladyfish and Fisherman. Very nice people, but very busy.

As the staff and/or volunteers worked away to set the room up, the lights and music are changed, an easel is set up along with a clear path to the play stations, timekeepers were in their spots (more on this in a moment), DM’s were clearly visible, and play begand. The room was considerably large and there are quite a few stations, and while I wasn't close to the action, the furniture looks good. Some of it looks newish. The stage remained, and while most stations were on the floor, there were a few stations on the stage. To one side of the stage there was a viewing area. I bought myself another beer and made myself comfy in a chair where I can watch. A man sits down next to me immediately and strikes up a conversation. Very nice, however I know what he wants and I’m not on the hunt tonight. I’m polite but send along the ‘gee I’d play but I’m not into it tonight’ messages. He leaves and my eyes wander to the players. There was a scene finishing that involves four and sometimes more people involving needles and flowers – that’s different. They were clearly having fun and people were moving in close to have a better look which seems fine by the people in this group. I wonder if it’s because they know everyone or they just don’t care who might stop by. Another woman is being flogged by a woman who looks bored enough to fall asleep. If you aren’t into it, why are standing there hitting someone if you’d rather be at home watching re-runs on TV or doing the laundry? It’s so painfully obvious you aren’t enjoying yourself. Still at another station, the top is more interested in who is watching him as opposed to paying attention to his playmate. Ah I think to myself - always a resident poser ready to claim their status as (guess what?) the resident poser. Perhaps it will dawn upon the young man that his play partner should be the focus of his attention – and maybe he'll figure out that no one cares what he looks like – many voyeurs are looking for the energy between the players, not the players themselves. Trophy bottoms are a dime a dozen as are poser tops. Still another man is hustling about looking for supplies and I can overhear someone behind me saying something about him looking for a sharps container or gloves.

My advice - when I play, I check to make sure that everything I need is ready so I’m not stumbling about trying to find what I need while my intended victim waits. Most typically, I bring my own supplies as not all events carry freebies, nor do I automatically assume that the event producers will carry supplies I might need. Alternatively, if you're a party organizer and trained people that you will provide these things, make sure you actually keep them available. Sharps containers are cheap, and so if you’re a needle player, think about keeping one for your very own use. I get mine at my local drug store, they are small sized and they cost less than $5. I like the small size as I can fit them into my play bag easily. Same with gloves, they are inexpensive.

Another unique thing at Sagacity is that you are given the use of the equipment for a certain period of time. I’m not sure how well I’d do being timed and may find that more frustrating than waiting on a piece of equipment. Alternatively, I don’t have too much trouble getting equipment particularly if I play early or late. I learned that after waiting for too long to play on equipment being used during prime time.

I moved to the bar and social area and I noted that there is food, which is apparently covered in the price of the ticket. There are crackers, dips, cheeses, fruit – it’s a nice spread, the food was fresh and tasty and this is a nice idea. I meet, smile, greet, and try to keep my mouth shut, and keep myself away from the food so I can listen.

Other venues could provide some type of nibblies for free – well free as in, it’s all in the price of the ticket for ‘free’. There are no events that I’ve been to in BC that offer food or nibbles unless you'd like to pay separately for it and I’ve always wondered when I buy alcohol at an event if the producers of the event get a take from the cash bar, which somehow never prevents me from buying alcohol.

I'll be going again to a Sagacity party and next time I go I’ll be taking a date and playing.

Most sincerely,

Isabelle Channing