Who is responsible for me?

I love taking risks, walking blurry lines, and pushing my own boundaries.

I have what I call regular play partners and then there are the ‘I’ve never played with you before, how nice you asked’ partners.

If I don’t know my play partner well, or we haven’t played much or at all, I modify. Likely at first I'm a boring Top, and it’s just as likely you’d assume I was too tame. But I’d always rather play on the side of caution for both of our protection. Once we've played once or twice the bar is raised.

I’m also fortunate enough to be invited to private home parties, or I’m at parties where upon a rare occasion play and or sex happens. Often times there is no DM. The rules are that there are no rules, you can do anything you'd like so long as you have a consensual partner. Sometimes alcohol is available to those wanting to imbibe and sometimes I drink and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m with people that smoke more than cigarettes.

I’m an adult, and we (as in most of us) play with other consenting adults. When you (Top or bottom – insert whatever term you like), choose a play partner it’s wise to consider all of the following.

How well do you know the person who wants to play with you? Have you ever watched them play, or is all of your experience with this person via word of mouth? How much risk will you assume? Remember that both parties assume some level of risk no matter if that person is young or old, new to bdsm or not, sober or not. Has this person been drinking or inhaling? Have you asked them about whether they’ve been doing either? Are you willing to play with that person if they have been?

I can’t say that I’d never play with someone who had been drinking or inhaling. I have and do, but every time I’m approached by someone who either has been drinking or inhaling or who hasn’t done any of that, I’m still assuming risk and some level of responsibility, just as they are assuming some level of risk when they ask me to play with them.

Thankfully it's impossible to eliminate risk. Each of us as adults need to be responsible only for evaluating our own risk as it pertains either to ourselves or others. Do your homework. Don't blame others for not protecting you, or watching out for you, or intervening on your behalf.

Who is responsible for me? I am.

Who is responsible for you? You are.

I can be reached at isabelle@sagacitygroup.net

Very truly yours,

Isabelle Channing