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Everyone has questions, or at least they should have questions ...



The door is always open at Sagacity and we welcome new members, visitors, and guests. The first event or meeting that you attend can be pretty darn intimidating and downright scary; hence our Sagacity FAQ.

The questions here are real; all have been submitted by people interested in Sagacity or by Sagacity members that remember the "first event."

If you have a question about Sagacity that is not answered here, or have a suggestion for this FAQ, send us an email and we'll cough up an answer.


Why bother with a FAQ? Shouldn't everyone already know the answers?

In an ideal world, everyone would have all the information that they need to make informed decisions and all the knowledge and skills that are required to play and socialize within the BDSM community. The kinky community tends to be somewhat cloistered, a bit tight when it comes to sharing detailed information, and full of contradictory messages. The Sagacity FAQ is designed as a starting point for those that are just starting their kinky explorations and for those of us who may have forgotten a few things along the way. In either case, the surest indication of a lack of knowledge is thinking that we know it all...

Where is Sagacity located?

Sagacity is located in Victoria, British Columbia. Victoria is located at the southern end of Vancouver Island, which is connected to the mainland Vancouver area by ferry.

Is Sagacity a cyber or real life group?

Sagacity is a real life group of people that meet and play on a regular basis. As some of our members live outside the greater Victoria area, we do maintain a Yahoo group and this web site to help keep in touch.

Is there a "pecking order" at Sagacity?

Absolutely not! Dominants, submissives, bottoms, Tops, slaves, and Masters all have equal rights, an equal say, and are treated with equal respect.

I am a submissive, do I have to submit to all dominants?

Absolutely not! The interactions and power exchanges between people are negotiated, and consensual. If anyone other than your agreed-upon dominant tells you that you have to do X or Y, feel free to tell them the facts of life...

What does it take to be a member?

Just attend any Sagacity meeting or event. If you live outside of the greater Victoria area, you can become a member by joining Sagacity's mailing list.

How can I get involved?

The best way to get involved is to attend Sagacity meetings and events, introduce yourself, watch, listen, and talk to members. You can also introduce yourself on the mailing list or join the Kink Chat and take part in the "spirited" online discussions. Many of our members will gladly meet with you for a cup of coffee before you decide to attend a meeting and share their knowledge of Sagacity.

What types of events does Sagacity hold?

Sagacity holds play parties, workshops, and theme nights such as Back-to-School and the Kinky Beach Party. We love to add fun themes to special nights of naughty kink!

What is a play party?

A play party is an event designed to allow for flogging, bondage, waxing, spanking, needle play and a myriad of other fun pursuits in a safe and secure environment.

Do I have to play at play parties?

No. It is encouraged, but never required. Many people attend just to socialize and enjoy the lighting and music. Remember... it's hard to be an exhibitionist without a voyeur present!

Will people watch if I play at a play party?

Yes. Although usually play is conducted by two people, it is held in an open group setting where others in attendance can observe you.

Is it okay to watch people playing at a play party?

Yes. Just remember to give the players ample room and never interrupt them (as above, some members really enjoy appreciative audiences...).

I hate piercing. What should I do if people are engaging in piercing at a play party?

This may sound callous, but the answer is "don't watch it." Take a stroll over to the social area or another area away from the piercing station.

Is there a dress code at meetings and events?

Sagacity meetings are held in a private room of a public restaurant and street clothes or fetish clothing is fine. A good rule of thumb here is to consider if you would wear your clothing selection on public transit. Play parties and other events usually have a dress code of fetish or dark clothing. Newcomers to the BDSM scene can always wear black clothes if they have not acquired leather, PVC, or other fetish clothing. Our dress code is only a suggestion, the most important thing is that you are comfortable. Sagacity believes that kink lives in your heart, not your closet (unless you want it to, of course!).

What can I expect at a Sagacity meeting?

Sagacity meetings usually follow a pretty predictable routine; a chance to catch up on upcoming events, group discussion of a set topic, socialising and a chance to grab a meal. We don't play at meetings other than to administer a birthday spanking.

Do I have to have a birthday spanking?

No. Some like birthday spankings, some don't. And some will volunteer to take them for you!

Do I need an invitation to attend Sagacity meetings?

No. Everyone is welcome to attend any Sagacity meeting.

Is alcohol available at Sagacity events?

Alcohol is available via a cash bar at some Sagacity events. Please remember, however, that the credo of BDSM is Safe, Sane and Consensual. Hard to be any of the three when inebriated so please practice moderation and use common sense!

Is drug use acceptable at Sagacity events?


Is sex acceptable at Sagacity events?

No. And don't hog the bathroom even if there are two of you in there...

Are Sagacity events discrete?

Sagacity's policy is that what happens at an event is not to be shared outside of event attendees, except in a general way such as "Gee, I had a great flogging at the party." Event venues are chosen to ensure that there is no way of knowing what is going on inside the venue unless you are in attendance; however, if you take public transit to the event while dressed in your full regalia it will be rather obvious. (Security staff ensure that only ticket holders get though the door.)

Are play parties safe?

As far as your personal safety goes, yes. Sagacity provides a safe and secure environment at all events. BDSM activities do carry an inherent risk of physical injury; it is your responsibility to play smart, know your limits, and choose your play partners wisely.

Do Sagacity events have dungeon monitors?

Yes. At play parties you can expect a highly visible dungeon monitor presence.

What's a dungeon monitor or DM?

Dungeon monitors (DMs) are experienced players that are tasked to watch over players to ensure that safety precautions are being followed and that acceptable conduct is being maintained. Dungeon monitors are "the law" at events and also a great source of information and introductions.

I'm interested in .... but don't know where to start?

Good question! The best ways to gather information about a particular type of play are to read, watch, and ask. Questions can be asked on the mailing list, in the Forum, at Tuesday night gatherings, and at events. DMs can introduce you to members that are experienced in many areas and you can always ask members that are doing what you are interested in (wait until after they have finished playing, though).

I'm single, can I attend?

Definitely. Although many singles find it more comfortable to show up with a friend or a couple, singles are always welcome.

I'm married, can I attend?

Yes. We recommend that when possible, both partners attend.

We're a couple, will our relationship be respected?

Yes. Who you play with is up to you.

Are gays, lesbians, transgenders welcome at Sagacity?

Yes. So are bisexuals and heterosexuals. Sagacity is a pansexual organisation that welcomes all lifestyle choices.

Will people respect my choices?

Yes. Who you play with and how you play is up to you (within the limits of safety, of course). Sagacity celebrates diversity and personal choice; discrimination, intolerance, and all that nasty stuff is not tolerated.

Are animals welcome?

That depends. Guide dogs (and cats) could probably be tolerated. If your pet is part of your fetish (check to see if Ladyfish has any cats under her skirts) we might not be able to accommodate you. Bestiality is still illegal in British Columbia. People who think they are animals are ok, as long as they are house-trained.

Can I bring guests to Sagacity meetings, play parties, and events?

Yes. You should, however, ensure that your guests have at least a basic idea of what they are going to be seeing.