Laws of the Lair

THE LAWS OF THE LAIR
Every ship that sails on the high seas has a daily routine and set of rules that must be adhered to; without rules and a predictable routine, the ship can not operate efficiently and chaos would soon errupt. Pirate's Lair is run like a ship, with rules that are in place to ensure that the entire crew has a swashbuckling good time. The rules are simple, few in number, and non-negotiable.
	All guests are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. This should not need to be stated; however, with over 80 pirates in attendance it does not take long for flotsom and jetsam to accumulate to the point where it becomes a navigational hazard. Receptacles are provided for garbage and containers that may be recycled, please use them.
	The Pirate's Lair has a limited septic system and hot water capacity. All guests are requested to limit their water consumption (keep it to a minimum please). Simple measures such as turning off the water when brushing teeth, showering instead of bathing, and using the outhouse facilities all help to conserve water.
	There will be over 80 pirates in attendance this year, so please respect your fellow swashbucklers by keeping your time in the bathrooms to a bare minimum. Sharing a shower is a great way for a true pirate to prepare for a day of mayhem. Some of the pirates lucky enough to have showers in their rooms are prepared to share. The names of sharing pirates will be provided in your Pirate Packets. Please review them and make arrangements as requested. Note that you will be expected to bring your own toiletries and towels. Please remember if you are using someone else's shower to leave it how you found it. Any scurvy bilge rats that abuse the bathrooms will be keel-hauled and not in a pleasant way.
	The Lair is bordered by neighbours up very early in the morning. They can see us and we can see them, so please remember that although we all want to have a good time, the neighbors will not appreciate us disturbing their sleep or running rampant. Use common sense and respect; don't expose anyone to nonconsensual acts. No nudity except on the beach and indoors. No playing outside if it makes noise or could be offensive.
	Smoking is allowed only outdoors on the deck area. Please use the ashtrays provided and pick up after any scurvy dogs that toss their dead smokes, pipes, or parrots on the ground. The forest fire hazard on Pirate Island is always high - use caution when smoking.
	Laundry facilities are not available. Wet clothing and towels may be hung for air drying in the camping area.
	Pick up your booty and plunder when you are finished with it. The press-gang and crew do not include any valets, stewards, maids, or cabin boys; however, the Bos'n has been to known to kick sculling items into the scuppers.
	The galley, the fridge, and all food stuffs are the domain of the cook and his press-gang. Ask before you take anything or you will soon be walking the plank. A scheduled roster of designated kitchen crews will be posted. Please check the schedule for your shift time if you have volunteered. Insulated treasure chests are provided for personal beverages.
	Our gracious hosts are the Governor and Magistrate, as such, you are answerable to them for the duration of your stay or sentence at the Pirate's Lair. You may have noticed the well-used Hanging Tree ...
	Pirate's Lair is situated on high ground to allow for defensive cannon fire to rake attackers with grape and shot. Stable your horses and land yachts in the assigned areas only.
	Pirate's Lair is a treasure trove of priceless artwork that has been plundered from many ports; treat it with caution and respect or you will feel the lash of the Bos'n.