BDSM Desires Checklist

 Checklists are frequently difficult to complete due to the complex variety to what we enjoy. When we try to fill them out as Tops, Bottoms, Dominants, or Submissives, there is usually confusion over fetishes that aren't physically interactive between partners or over activities that may not clear as to who is giving and who receiving. A sincere effort has been made here to reduce this kind of confusion, but BDSM checklists will never be perfect enough that you won't probably have to go to your partner and confer about how to answer at least one item. Take it as a blessing in disguise - a BDSM checklist is only supposed to get a conversation started. That's what the tool is made for. Remember, it's just a beginning to negotiation, not an end in itself.

Below is a list of SM activities to be filled out by a dominant or a submissive. It's been written to suit both males and females. If a portion of it doesn't apply to you (i.e., receiving cunnilingus wouldn't apply to a male) just leave it blank and continue to the next item. Follow these simple directions:

First Check YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.

Second - For each item indicate how much it excites you in the Excite Factor column using the following key.

- ? means you do not understand this item.

- * means you understand it but are really not sure of whether or not it excites you.

- 0 (zero) indicates you are in NO WAY excited by that activity.

- 1 indicates that you may have a small level of interest in that area.

- 2 indicates interest, but no special appeal.

- 3 indicates liking the item well enough.

- 4 indicates liking the area quite a bit.

- 5 indicates the activity is a wild turn-on.

Third - For each item indicate how often you’d be willing to do it in the Frequency column using the following key.

- * means you are uncertain of whether or not you want to do it.

- No a hard limit, and you will NOT do that item.

- Never indicates that you are willing to do the item, but only if it is important to your partner, not out of any of your own desires.

- Rarely indicates only an occasional interest in doing the item.

- Sometimes indicates liking the item on a somewhat regular basis, but perhaps few and far between.

- Often indicates liking the item to be done quite frequently.

- Always indicates the item is something you’d like to have as a rule, or common to almost every scene.

Think very carefully about your limits, and willingness to do things before marking your answers. These things are crucially important for your dominant to know. Use the Note & Nuances column liberally, including details of how you like things, as well as indicating hard limits, so that your partner has a more clear picture of what you like etc.

Fourth - Answer the questions at the end. Be verbose and make sure your answers are clear and concise. This is the 'essay' portion, and one-word answers are discouraged! Be particularly clear about your safer sex requirements, this is the time to mention them.

Activity

Yes

No

Excite Factor

Frequency

Notes & Nuances

Abrasion

Age Play (specify age)

Anal Plugs (large)

Anal Plugs (public, under clothes)

Anal Plugs (small)

Anal Sex (giving)

Anal Sex (receiving)

Animal Role Play

Arm Sleeves/Binders

Aromas

Asphyxiation

Ball Stretching

Bastinado (beating soles of feet)

Bathroom Use Control

Battery Play (9 volts)

Bestiality (specify animal)

Beating Hard

Beating Soft

Being Blindfolded

Being Boxed (coffin, crate, etc.)

Biting Hard

Biting Soft

Blood Play (animal/drinking)

Blood Play (animal/pouring on)

Blood Play (human/drinking)

Blood Play (human/pouring on/smearing)

Bondage Heavy

Bondage Light

Bondage Long

Bondage Public (under clothing)

Bondage with cuffs

Bondage with ropes

Boot Worship

Branding

Breast Bondage

Breast Torture

Breast Whipping

Breath Control

Cages (locked in)

Caning Hard

Caning Soft

Catheterization

Cat o' Nine Whip

Cattle Prod

Cells/Closets (locked in)

Chains

Chamber Pot Use

Chastity Belts

Chauffeuring (domestic service)

Choking

Chores (domestic service)

Chosen Clothing For

Chosen Food For

Clothespins

Clothing fetishes (i.e. school girl etc. Specify)

Cock Restraint (gates of hell, caging, etc.)

Cock Whipping

Cock Worship

Cold Showers (forced)

Collars (wearing)

Competition (other subs)

Corsets (casual wearing)

Corsets (training/tight)

Cross Dressing

Cuffs (leather)

Cuffs (metal)

Cunnilingus (giving)

Cunnilingus (receiving)

Cunnilingus (while menstruating)

Cunnilingus (while urinating)

Cutting

Diapering

Dilation (sphincter relaxation)

Dildo Using

Dirty Talk (specify hot-words or limits)

Double Penetration

Electricity

Enema Retention

Enemas

Erotic Dance (doing)

Erotic Dance (watching)

Examinations (physical)

Exercise (forced/required)

Exhibitionism

Eye Contact Requirements

Eye Contact Restrictions

Face Slapping

Fantasy Abandonment

Fantasy Gang Rape

Fantasy Rape

Fear (being scared)

Feces Play (human/on body)

Feces Play (animal/on body)

Feces Play (human/on face)

Feces Play (animal/on face)

Feces Play (human/in mouth)

Feces Play (animal/in mouth)

Fellatio (giving)

Fellatio (receiving)

Fellatio (while urinating)

Fire Play (non burning)

Fisting (anal, giving)

Fisting (anal, receiving)

Fisting (vaginal, giving)

Fisting (vaginal, receiving)

Floggers

Following Orders

Foot Licking

Foot Worship

Forced Eating

Forced Cross Dressing

Forced Domestic Service

Forced Homosexuality

Forced Heterosexuality

Forced Masturbation

Forced Panty/Pants Wetting

Forced Nudity (private)

Forced Nudity (with others)

Forced Oral Sex

Forced Servitude

Full Head Hoods

Gags (cloth)

Gags (inflatable)

Gags (phallic)

Gags (tape)

Gas Masks

Genital Sex

Genitorture (light)

Genitorture (heavy)

Given Away (temp)

Golden Showers (on body)

Golden Showers (on face/hair)

Gun Play

Hair Cutting (head)

Hair Holding

Hair Pulling

Hairbrushes (spanked with)

Hand Jobs (giving)

Hand Jobs (receiving)

Hand Licking

Harems (serving w/others)

Harnessing (leather)

Harnessing (rope)

Heat Play (Ben Gay, Peppermint Oil, etc.)

High Heel Worship

Homage w/Tongue

Housework (nude/scantily dressed)

Human Furniture (table, foot stool, etc.)

Human pet (specify puppy, kitten, etc)

Humiliation (private)

Humiliation (public, i.e. SM clubs)

Ice Cubes

Including Others

Infantilism

Initiations/Gauntlets

Interrogations

Intricate Rope Bondage

Kidnapping

Kissing

Kneeling

Kneeling (long)

Knife Play

Leather Clothing

Leather Restraints

Leg Sleeve/Binder

Lecturing

Licking (people)

Licking (floor)

Licking (toilets)

Lingerie (on your partner, specify types)

Lingerie (wearing, specify types)

Litter Box Using

Manacles & Irons

Massage (giving)

Massage (receiving)

Masturbation

Masturbation in front of partner

Masturbation in front of others

Modeling

Mouth Bits

Mummification

Name Change (temp)

Needle Play

Nipple Clamps Hard

Nipple Clamps Light

Nipple Torture

Nipple Weights

Objectification (being property, etc)

Orgasm Control

Orgasm Denial

Outdoor Scenes

Outdoor Sex

Over-the-knee Spanking

Paddles (wooden)

Paddles (leather)

Pain (mild)

Pain (severe)

Panty/Pants Wetting

Phone Sex (others)

Phone Sex (your partner)

Piercing (perm)

Piercing (temp)

Pony Girl/Boy

Prostitution (pretense)

Prostitution (real)

Prostitution (forced)

Prison Scenes

Punishment

Pussy Whipping

Pussy Worship

Religious Scenes

Rubber/Latex Clothing

Riding Crops

Riding Wooden Horse (crotch torture)

Rimming (anus licking)

Rituals/Ceremonies (non-religious)

Saran Wrapping (mummification)

Scarification

Scratching (giving)

Scratching (receiving)

Sensory Deprivation

Serving

Serving (as a maid/butler)

Serving (as art)

Serving (as toilet, feces)

Serving (as toilet, urine)

Serving other dom (supervised)

Serving other dom (unsupervised)

Sexual Deprivation

Shaved genitals (on partner)

Shaved genitals (on self)

Shaving (below neck)

Shaving (head)

Shock Devices (collars, etc)

Skinny Dipping

Skinny Dipping (cold water)

Sleep Deprivation

Sleeping Bondage (heavy)

Sleeping Bondage (light)

Slutty Clothing (private)

Slutty Clothing (public)

Spanking

Speaking Restrictions (when/what)

Speculums (anal)

Speculums (vaginal)

Spitting (in face)

Spitting (in mouth)

Spitting (on body)

Spreader Bars

Standing In Corner

Stocks

Straight Jackets

Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)

Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)

Strap-on-dildos (wearing)

Strapping (full body beating)

Supplying Victims/New Partners

Suspension (horizontal)

Suspension (inverted)

Suspension (upright)

Swallowing Feces

Swallowing Semen

Swallowing Urine

Swapping (w/multiple couples)

Swapping (w/one couple)

Swinging

Tattooing (henna/temp)

Tattooing (permanent)

Teasing (verbal)

Temperature Play (hot water/ice)

TENS unit (electrical toy)

Thumb Cuffs

Tickling

Triple Penetration

Urethral Sounds (rods)

Uniforms (specify types)

Verbal Humiliation

Vibrator (external)

Vibrator (internal)

Video Taped Scenes

Video Watching

Violet Wand (electrical toy)

Voyeurism (watching others)

Voyeurism (your partner w/others)

Water Torture

Wax Hair Removal

Wax Play

Wearing Boots

Wearing High Heels

Wearing Symbolic Jewelry

Weight Gain (enforced)

Weight Loss (enforced)

Whipping (specify favorite body area)

Wrestling (other subs)

Wrestling (your partner)