Blow-The-Man-Down Competition

"Thar She Blows!"

Them be the words Cap'n Raunchy Randy and his horny helper be waitin' to hear at the 1st Annual Blow-The-Man-Down competition.

Ye be readin' right, Mateys...it be time to set the mark for the fastest lips this side of the Seven Seas! Put yer mouth where yer booty lies and be the first to come out ahead of the rest!

Put yer lips together and read on...the rules be posted below:

• Competition to be held in the Sextant on Friday night at 8:00 PM.
• Contestant couples will compete in groups of two. The winner of each group will advance to the Blow-Off to be held in the same location at 10:00 PM.
• Each couple will consist of two people. The Blowee will stand facing the audience (heckling and catcalls be welcome...and expected). The Blower will kneel in front of the Blowee, hands behind their back at all times.
• On the command of Cap'n Raunchy Randy, the Blowee will remove his pipeorgan and then tuck his hands behind his back. The Blower will then use only their mouth (lips, tongue) to tease and entice.
• The Cap'n will set his hourglass for a 5-minute count. Blowers must give it their all and suck it up proper to help the Blowee maintain a hard and erect posture.
• When the sands of time have elapsed, the bell will ring. The first Blowee to shoot their cannon with a full load after the ringing of the bell is the winner of that round. Proof be required (i.e., show us the money shot)...no swallowin' be tolerated! All contestants required to bring their own mop and bucket for swabbin' their dick...err...deck.
• All winners will advance to the 10:00 PM Blow-Off round. Rules for the Blow-Off be the same as above except they will all compete at the same time.